The
Coffee Rant
" I like my sugar
with COFFEE and CREAM! " - The Beastie Boys
You
have no idea how many people are out there in the world
who
love to drink coffee, but HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE how to make it.
Here
is the lowdown on making a pot of coffee that doesn't taste like someone
filtered water through a jockstrap. (sorry for the visual)
HARDWARE:
Automatic
Drip coffee maker
Coffee
Filter for that specific coffee maker
SOFTWARE:
Coffee,
coarsely ground
(can't
figure out what coarsely ground means?
Just
pick up a decent can of 100% Columbian coffee that says automatic drip on
it)
How to make the perfect
pot of automatic drip:
1.
Use a coffee filter (duh) in your filter- holder-thingy.
2.
Add ground coffee to filter.
If
you can, grind your coffee beans fresh, using a coarse grind.
A
coarse grind is less bitter and more flavorful than a fine grind.
HOW MUCH DO I
ADD?
I
like my coffee kinda strong, so I fill up about
1/3
of a standard size filter with coffee.
Otherwise,
follow directions for amounts
on
your coffee of choice, then use just a little more.
3.
Place filter-holder-thingy into filter-holder-thingy slot in coffee maker.
4.
Put the pot under the filter-holder-thingy
(otherwise you'll get coffee all over the place)
5.
Add water for 8-10 cups of coffee *
(coffee
cups about 8 oz., not measuring cups)
* If you have one of those coffee makers that has the water line hooked up, skip this step and go to steps 6a and 6b.
6a.
Turn on warmer plate (the thing the pot goes on that keeps the coffee hot).
6b. If the brew switch is separate from the warmer plate switch on your
type of coffee maker (many office coffee makers are like this) also
turn the brew switch on.
7.
Wait for coffee to brew
8.
After coffee has brewed into coffee pot,
Open
the filter-holder-thingy and DUMP OUT THOSE COFFEE GROUNDS!
THE FILTER WILL
BE HOT! BE CAREFUL!
WHY DUMP THE FILTER
FULL OF GROUNDS?
Because
if you don't, those grounds will drip bitter junk into your fresh pot
and
make it taste YECCHH (a technical term).
Don't even THINK about reusing those grounds for a second pot of coffee!
Some
fast-food chains dump their coffee after 20 minutes,
but
I think a fresh pot of coffee will be at its best for about 1-2 hours.
If
it's on the warmer plate longer than that, brew a new pot.
Got it?
Good!
Happy Coffee!
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