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  The Coffee Rant
" I like my sugar with COFFEE and CREAM! " - The Beastie Boys
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You have no idea how many people are out there in the world 
who love to drink coffee, but HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE how to make it.
Here is the lowdown on making a pot of coffee that doesn't taste like someone filtered water through a jockstrap. (sorry for the visual)

HARDWARE: 

Automatic Drip coffee maker
Coffee Filter for that specific coffee maker

SOFTWARE:

Coffee, coarsely ground 
(can't figure out what coarsely ground means? 
 Just pick up a decent can of 100% Columbian coffee that says automatic drip on it)

How to make the perfect pot of automatic drip:

1. Use a coffee filter (duh) in your filter- holder-thingy.

2. Add ground coffee to filter.
If you can, grind your coffee beans fresh, using a coarse grind.
A coarse grind is less bitter and more flavorful than a fine grind. 

HOW MUCH DO I ADD?
 I like my coffee kinda strong, so I fill up about 
1/3 of a standard size filter with coffee. 
Otherwise, follow directions for amounts
 on your coffee of choice, then use just a little more.

3. Place filter-holder-thingy into filter-holder-thingy slot in coffee maker.

4. Put the pot under the filter-holder-thingy 
   (otherwise you'll get coffee all over the place)

5. Add water for 8-10 cups of coffee *
(coffee cups about 8 oz., not measuring cups)
* If you have one of those coffee makers that has the water line hooked up, skip this step and go to steps 6a and 6b.

6a. Turn on warmer plate (the thing the pot goes on that keeps the coffee hot).
6b. If the brew switch is separate from the warmer plate switch on your type of coffee maker (many office coffee makers are like this) also turn the brew switch on.

7. Wait for coffee to brew

8. After coffee has brewed into coffee pot,
Open the filter-holder-thingy and DUMP OUT THOSE COFFEE GROUNDS!
THE FILTER WILL BE HOT! BE CAREFUL!

WHY DUMP THE FILTER FULL OF GROUNDS?
Because if you don't, those grounds will drip bitter junk into your fresh pot 
and make it taste YECCHH (a technical term).
Don't even THINK about reusing those grounds for a second pot of coffee!

Some fast-food chains dump their coffee after 20 minutes,
but I think a fresh pot of coffee will be at its best for about 1-2 hours.
If it's on the warmer plate longer than that, brew a new pot.

                                      Got it?
                                      Good!
                                      Happy Coffee!
 

The Coffee Rant (c) 2001-2004 Edward Heller